Sasuke's Big Ass Rock
by justanothergaarafangurl
Summary: Sasuke wants to kill himself but can't find out how. So Naruto and Yasu. Come in with some ideas! Rated M for swearing and thoughts of suicide.


**_"Ahhh." Sasuke sighed as he rested his head in his hands and staring out to the lake he was sitting in front of._**

**_"I killed Itachi…. And I've come back to the village. But they don't trust me and now I feel…….empty….Maybe I should kill myself…but how?"_**

**_"Let's find a rock!" Said Yasu sitting on Sasuke's right side. "I mean a big ass rock!" She said putting an arm around Sasuke's shoulders._**

**_"Or maybe something like a cinder block is better. I'll hoist it up, and drop it on your face, my buddy!"_**

**_'What the hell?' Thought Sasuke._**

**_"And just before the lights go out you'll see my smile and you'll know you've got a friend. With a rock, who cares, I mean a BIG ASS ROCK!"_**

**_"Or rope!" Said Naruto popping up on Sasuke's left._**

**_"I got some quality rope. Made for a man who's devoid of hope. Like you are." He said swinging his arm around Sasuke's other shoulder._**

**_"My buddy. Michel." _**

**_"Um that's Sasuke." _**

**_"Yeah, Sasuke right." Naruto said waving a hand dismissively. _**

**_"And I won't leave you swinging there, twitching like a fish while you claw the air!_**

**_"You won't?" asked Sasuke._**

**_"I'll grab your feet and pal o' mine I'll pull real hard and, SNAP! You're spinal cord." He said with a large smile on his face._**

**_"This world is cold when you're alone." Said Yasu putting her face next Sasuke's and almost putting him into a chokehold. _**

**_"And they ignore you. But don't kill your self!"_**

**_"We'll do it for you!" Said Yasu and Naruto moving in front of Sasuke and standing up. "You've got a friend."_**

**_Suddenly Naruto pulled a flute out of thin air and started playing it while Yasu pulled Sasuke up and swung him around, making him dizzy. _**

**_"You've got a friend!" Said Yasu._**

**_"You've got a friend." Naruto said after her. _**

**_"You know I asked a guy once if he'd mind putting me in a barrel sending me over the falls." Said Naruto(the flute now gone) "You know what the son of a bitch said? 'Drop dead asshole.'"_**

**_"People are pricks." Said Yasu, "I asked this guy to take his air compressor and drill me with a 6 inch nail right through the eye."_**

**_"What'd he say?" Asked Naruto._**

**_"I'm low on nails."_**

**_"People are selfish pricks."_**

**_"I know! And another time now gets this. I lay down in front of a steam roller and asked the guy to just to proceed, you know, business as usual, and just squash me like a bug."_**

**_"That's a good way to go Yasu, the ol' bug squash"_**

**_"Yeah!"_**

**_"Hey, We could tie a plastic bag over his head."_**

**_"Naw." Said Yasu. "That's such a wimp suicide." _**

**_"I got my finger stuck in a socket once." Said Sasuke as Naruto and Yasu turned to him. "Hurt real bad but….It didn't kill me."_**

**_"Sasuke. Stay out of this." Yasu deadpanned. _**

**_"I've got a friend!" Said Sasuke with a smile. "Like _****_Carole King or was it Carly Simon used to sing? I always get those two confused, but anyway, I turned around and suddenly I'm not alone it ain't just me. I'm like a player on the team!"_**

**_"Player on our team!" Said Yasu and Naruto._**

**_"Part of the gang!" Said Sasuke smiling._**

**_"Part of the gang" followed Yasu and Naruto._**

**_"A member of the club!!" _**

**_"Welcome to the club!" _**

**_"Oo!" Said Naruto slapping his right had(That was in a fist) into his left ad though saying 'I got an idea!' "Let's get a club!" _**

**_"I like the big ass rock." Said Yasu nodded her head with here eyes closed. _**

**_"Naw, One good swing and I'll clean his clock forever."_**

**_"Let gravity do the work."_**

**_"It's a mans way to die Mickey!" Said Naruto turning to Sasuke._**

**_"Sasuke! I've got friends!" Said Sasuke._**

**_"Friends who'll love you like a maniac and lead you like a lamb to the railroad track and tie you down!" Said Naruto and Yasu._**

**_"I'VE GOT FRIENDS!!" Said Sasuke throwing his hands in the air. _**

**_"Tickle your wrist with a single-edge razor, or buy you a beer with a Draino chaser, Or dump you in the river with a rock." Said Yasu and Naruto._**

**_"A big ass rock!" Said Sasuke giggling slightly._**

**_"Hey! Here's a nice one right over here!" Said Yasu walking over to a nice round large rock. _**

**_"Can I give you a hand with that? It looks heavy." Asked Naruto._**

**_"No, Naruto. It ain't heavy….He's my friend." _**

**_"Come on! Group hug!" Said Naruto pulling Yasu and Sasuke into a hug._**

**_..........................................................................................................................................._**

**_Song: Big Ass Rock. Can find on profile._**

**_Hope you liked it!^-^_**


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